Design Your Day
Published on May 4, 2023
Southern Marin Mother's Club
The morning of my first Mother's Day, I woke up thinking that I was going to sit on a golden throne of roses and have strawberries fed to me. Diapers changed all day; laundry started, folded, and put away; and a beautiful card filled out with a message of gratitude and acknowledgment. I was after all… a mother for the first time in my life. A mother to his daughter. However, there were a few things I didn’t realize, yet…
I’d like to take a moment to blame my best friend (and my mom but we’ll get to that in a minute) for always spoiling me on my birthday. Ever since we were in fourth grade we made it a priority to do anything and everything we could to make sure the birthday girl felt loved. It was the ultimate “Yes” Day. So of course I expected this from my spouse on Mother’s Day. Turns out girlfriends aren’t the same as husbands, and for good reasons.
Growing up, I witnessed my mother always share so much love with my grandma on this special day. Here comes the epiphany…my mom celebrated her mom. Yes, I made special cards and gifts as a kid and looked forward to the day, but when I think back…my mom made her own magic and often that was found in relishing our gifts, but her main focus was always celebrating and honoring her own mother.
It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized it was my turn. My turn to truly know just how much my mom did for me growing up. My turn to realize how hard it was at times for her and how strong she continued to be. My turn to show her as a grown woman that I not only see her as my mother, but I see her as a woman who always did and still does her best.
My husband would love to spend another Mother’s Day with his mom. This reality helps me not take my mom for granted. I try my best to get some space to myself just so I can feel the overwhelming gratitude for my life, my daughters, and this journey. I usually spend half the day with myself and the other half with my family. I’ve almost fainted from hot yoga. I’ve spent the morning getting a massage. I even spent a half day at a pool alone! But after celebrating seven Mother’s Days, I’ve learned that I want to end the day spending time with my own mama.
Life goes so fast. The journey is filled with sweet moments (and lots of hard times too). I try to use this day to love and cherish all that my mom is in a love language she speaks frequently. Because when our mothers are gone, we don’t get to celebrate them. Our children don’t do what we say, they do what we do. And I hope with all my heart that 25 years from now…my girls get “it” too.